On Wishes: Wise and Well

I’ve had quite a few wishes in the last few years, including some that would obviously not come true, such as a wish that some things never had changed and that the past could be different. Sometimes such wishes take the form of regrets, but that would imply only my own inadequate actions and responses to events. Events in the past, of course, may be largely driven by others and well outside my influence. And some may be due entirely to fate.

            Myths and fairy tales from all over the world impress us with warnings against reckless wishes, everything from eternal life (no use without eternal youth) to endless riches (not too good if your daughter turns to gold). The magic box that turns the sea to salt was a favourite story from my childhood: the endlessly turning salt mill that gave of its essence too often (constantly), too fully (far too much for the land) and too unceasingly. So how can we come by an understanding of wise wishes: wishes that are wise for us to wish?

            A wish for company may lay us open to the complicating involvement of other people. A wish to be lovely or charming, when it comes true, may attract the wrong individuals. A wish for wealth can lead to the envy of friends, or to a feeling we don’t know what to do with it all: many lottery winners end by giving it all away by one means or another.

            Some of our wishes come true due to hard work and determination over many years. Sometimes these rewards rejoice us, and sometimes they don’t. The cost of arriving takes into account all the steps away from other portions: sometimes the family, sometimes the arts, or health, or travel, or seeing the world around us. Perhaps even our peace of mind. And sometimes a failure to arrive and reach our wished-for destination will be seen as a close escape.

            Wishes aren’t like prayers. A prayer must begin with a blessing, I find. Blessed is our God … and what can that God do? We can pray for help, for healing, for love or inspiration. And the answer will come on God’s terms. Do we know what wise wishes are? We might find to our surprise that we don’t want our wish to come true after all, that we are wishing instead for what we already have. We don’t have the skill or the mastery to foresee the many possible outcomes of our wishes. At all times, and in all places, a wise well-wishing is always to bless God.