On October Occasions

 

October, my birth month, brings reflection. Entering an era of realising how much I don’t need. Responsibilities I’ve outgrown, inheritances I can no longer carry, impressions of a lengthy past that either stands accusing or seems exactly like a dream. Not a dream, but a story.

I rescue an English teacher’s words: “We’re not tragic heroes of literature; we are comedians.” We’re not King Lear, at best, we can aspire to Don Quixote. I find this more comforting with each passing year. To be conscious of failing is actually good for you. To have laid one brick in the path that leads to perdition – but only one brick. To weigh it up: If this happened in the past, something else must happen in the future, if you want balance.

To view the occasions: enigmatic events, tainted times, instant inspirations — casting light across the shadows — or fated flickers changing lives forever. I’ve outlived my detractors and many of my friends; I’ve observed history repeat itself in cyclical patterns. But hopefully, I’ve learned there’s always more to learn, everything fascinating. Occasions arise to live unending transformations, to stop performing the role of someone else. God willing: all occasions dwelling beneath God’s will.