Entering a New Year, with Janus looking forward and
back, to landscapes familiar and changed. Confronting stresses internal and
external: climate change, contagion, conflict, confusion. Worn mentality,
emotions of grief and loss. Escape attempts: entire populations in denial.
Swinging out.
Talking to yourself is said to be a sign of insanity.
Yet we talk to ourselves all the time, if only silently. Much of this
conversation is critical; much of our memory is regret. This negative voice is
actually subtraction. Designed to keep us safe. Subtracting dangers. Recalling
risks, provoking examples where things went wrong. The superstition of avoiding
praise that might attract misfortune. Yet misfortune is.
Other tones are available, attainable. Think of the
unfettered approval given a child who is learning to walk. Falling comes with
the world. The voice is encouraging, sure we can do it. We can’t save ourselves
(Christ has already done that) but we won’t do nothing. We can sympathise with
our plight. Take responsibility for our timing. Fight our corner. Give
ourselves every chance. Speak low and easy into our succession of moments, as a
warm travelling companion. That’s my New Year’s Resolution: speak low, speak
love, start at home.
