Cleaning up for
the New Year. Weeding out the paper files, sometimes twenty years old. There
are some massive bureaucratic efforts hidden in here. I’d call them heroic
struggles. Mainly but not always with government departments. All these matters
of status and achievement, finished and accomplished, at far more stress than
needed or worthy. A will also is part of a paper trail. (People can get evicted
from homes or saddled with lifelong financial bugs by wills). Correspondence
with the long deceased. Antiquated essays. Notes on plans: for holidays, revenge,
retreat. Grudges, complaints. Hospital stays. Rate notices. Receipts for
compensations that compensate no one.
Beginner’s mind is
full of mistakes. We’re always beginners at life. This leads to unastonishing
results not only in words and ideas but also in actions and relationships. You
may have been in a role for which you were miscast. But what is it? Which role?
If you knew what to do you’d already be doing it. There’s a confusing conflict
between effort and result.
The broken can’t really be mended. You have to make something else out of it. Shredding paper. Saving what must be saved. Letting go: new file, New Year.
